Bad day · chronic illness · Service Dog · Uncategorized

No Energy Ever: The Aftermath

So if you read my post from this afternoon you would have seen that I had absolutely no energy, not even enough to take a shower but I still had a huge list of things to do PLUS i had to perform at night. Here’s how that went:

I eventually got enough energy to put myself in the bath to at least get myself clean and smelling good. I popped in one of my favorite bath bombs and sat for about 20 minutes. I still did not have energy to do my hair, which desperately needed washing and blown up, so my mom ended up being really awesome and paid for me to get it washed and blown out professionally. This saved me so much time and energy, and also made me a lot less anxious, it was something that could be crossed of my to do list and also I got to relax for the half hour while the [really nice] woman did hair. After that I had to do my makeup. This, on a regular day, would take about 20 minutes. Today it took me a full hour and 15 minutes. I could barely keep my hands steady, my arms got tired quickly and I needed constant breaks. This is an example of really just having absolutely no “spoons” left. Normally, this task would be super easy for me and would have taken barely any time at all, today it was a huge ordeal. There’s no way to tell the night before if you’re going to have a bad day either, so there was no planning around it. I am thankful to have a wonderful family who all helped out with the rest of my to do list before my performance.My dad helped me get out of bed in the morning and made sure I could walk and would be okay before he left for work. My mom made sure that all of my costumes, medication, and service dog gear was packed and ready to go. My brother fed, walked and exercised my service pup and put her crate in the car for me. Everyone at home worked as a team to make sure I was going to be okay today.

I was still really tired when I had to arrive for the performance (at call time, which for non-theater people means about an hour and a half before the scheduled performance time)  but I kept myself energized and hydrated with some Powerade and that actually helped a lot. My friends and boyfriend who are also in the show also checked on me at various points to make sure I was doing well and could keep up. One woman really decided to make me angry though. The advisor of our theater club at school decided to come up to me before I was supposed to perform and tell me that if Disney (my service puppy, who is still in training but can already perform her seizure alert task) made any noise while she was backstage she would not be welcomed back and she (the advisor) would kick Disney out and not let her come to the final two performances. I feel the need to insert here that Disney is well-trained and is absolutely NOT disruptive at all. She used to bark sometimes at rehearsal because people would ignore me telling them not to play with her while she is working, but she has since stopped doing that. Disney also has been my companion during 12 other performances and stayed backstage and was completely quiet. I don’t know what stick was up this lady’s butt, but she was trying to tell me that Disney “couldn’t possibly be doing her job from her crate backstage so she has no reason to be here”. Disney senses my anxiety and my heart levels to alert if I’m going to have a seizure. She can sense these in any part of the room even if she is in a crate. I tried explaining this to the woman, but she rebutted with “no i don’t think that’s how it works” I corrected her but still she finished the conversation with “tonight will be a trial and if she makes one noise she is not welcomed back”. (LANGUAGE WARNING) I am so sorry for this language but this woman was being nothing but a bitch. Once she saw that Disney was behaving she actually went backstage and tried to get her to bark. I was stunned.  This entire ordeal happened about 20 minutes before show time. I was so anxious afterwards and spent more energy (that I didn’t even have) fighting with her about my service dog who is legally allowed and required to be there. I had several panic attack which were exhausting and once I calmed down I had to relax and drink a whole bunch of water and Powerade to get myself to the point where I could possibly perform. Tomorrow my brother is coming with me to call time in case I have another issue with this woman and he will let her know that everything she said/did/was planning on doing was illegal.

After this whole mess happened I went on and I performed completely fine. I did a great job and I feel good about it. Unfortunately I am now more exhausted than ever from this whole day so I’m going to go to sleep and hopefully tomorrow will be better energy wise, and hopefully I won’t have to deal with that awful woman. Goodnight beautiful people!


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